Why Love Isn’t Enough and How To Build Stronger Relationships with Joree Rose, LMFT & Dr. John Schinnerer (E82)

October 3, 2024

Relationships are crucial in our human connections, and everyone seeks happiness within them. However, for relationships to truly thrive, love alone isn’t enough; cultivating a successful relationship requires much more.

In today’s episode, we’re excited to welcome Dr. John Schinnerer, an executive coach, speaker, and author specializing in helping men evolve beyond the ‘Man Box’ to achieve greater happiness and success. Joining him is Joree Rose, MA, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist and mindfulness meditation teacher.

As partners in life and love, Joree and John have dedicated over seven years to working together in couples therapy, passionately guiding couples toward deeper, more fulfilling relationships. In this episode, Joree and John share the backstory of how they met and the insights they’ve gained along the way.

They delve into the concept of the “man box” culture, exploring how societal norms define what it means to be a “real man” and the dynamics that contribute to the emotional traps many men face today. Through their discussion, they emphasize the importance of vulnerability and how it can foster deeper connections in relationships.

As the conversation unfolds, they discuss the delicate balance between individuality and relationality, emphasizing that while a strong relationship will nurture your independent self, an independent self will never feed the relationship. Additionally, they delve into essential practices for reestablishing trust, including the power of non-defensive listening and thoughtful weekly couple check-ins.

Finally, they share the insights they gained from their second marriage and how they successfully blended their families. They also discuss the areas of exploration and growth within their relationship as they continue to guide others on their relationship journeys.

Time to dive in!

During this episode, you will learn about:

[00:51] Introduction to the show

[02:21] Our guests: Joree Rose, LMFT & Dr. John Schinnerer

[04:29] The backstory of how Joree Rose, LMFT & Dr. John Schinnerer met

[06:38] The Evolved Caveman Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-evolved-caveman-w-dr-john-schinnerer/id1463310003

[08:23] The biggest dynamics contributing to the trapping of masculinity today

[09:05] The man box culture

[18:24] How vulnerability breeds connection

[21:35] How Joree & John guide individuals and couples in navigating relationships

[28:38] The impact of a growth mindset on relationships

[32:39] Relationality vs. Individuality in relationships

[36:44] Reestablishing trust in a relationship

[45:55] The power of non-defensive listening in cultivating trust

[48:23] Engaging questions for weekly couple check-ins

[52:33] The power of gratitude in relationships

[01:01:58] In which areas does the ‘man box’ culture not exist, and why?

[01:08:16] How Joree & John successfully blended their families

[01:14:56] Insights they gained from their second marriage that they hadn’t recognized in their first

[01:19:59] Areas they are still exploring and evolving in their relationship as they guide others

[01:24:15] Follow and connect with Joree & John

Website: https://loveisntenough.net/

[01:24:39] What to expect from their master class series: https://loveisntenough.net/masterclass/

Key Takeaways:

The Man Box culture refers to how we are socialized to define what it means to be a ‘real man.’ ~Dr. John Schinnerer [09:05]
“Ego truly is armor.” ~Brian Bogert [13:59]
“Connection is one of our highest values.” ~Joree Rose, LMFT [18:31]
“The one defining factor of a happier, more satisfying life is love.” ~Dr George Vaillant [19:33]
Love is the energy that not only elevates frequency but also diffuses most if not all, lower-frequency energies and emotions. ~Brian Bogert [20:55]
“Cognitively knowing better does not mean you always do better.” ~Joree Rose, LMFT [29:40]
“A strong relationship will feed your independent self, but an independent self is never going to feed the relationship.” ~Terry Real [33:43]
“The most romantic act of love you could possibly do is to be willing to humble yourself enough to learn new ways to show up better in your relationship.” ~Dr. John Schinnerer [35:01]
The world will never judge you based on your intent; it will only judge you based on your actions. [35:29]
“If you aren’t being seen and understood based on your intent, then analyze your actions.” ~Brian Bogert [35:51]
“If we are not getting the answers that we want, we need to change our questions.” ~Brian Bogert [35:57]
“I hope to have six marriages in my life, hopefully, all with the same person.” ~ Esther Perel [45:40]
The ‘man box’ culture doesn’t exist in Irish culture, where no neighboring country poses a threat to invade and take natural resources. [01:02:06]
“You can’t be intentional with what you are unaware of.” ~Brian Bogert [01:10:11]